Author Archives: danicarolina95

What is invisible but essential about YOU? or ESADE? or Barcelona?

I’m writing this as I sit in a public transit office in Ecuador, waiting to renew my driver’s license which expired a few months ago. If you’ve ever lived abroad you know that those precious days when you’re back home (weeks if you’re lucky) are reserved for spending time with family, seeing childhood friends, and getting all the medical exams and documentation processes you haven’t done all year. This has been the norm for me for a little over 10 years now. And as hard as it is sometimes, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I’ve always said I was going to live abroad for as long as I can remember. The fact that my family temporarily lived in the US when I was a kid probably made an impact on my little 4-year-old brain that then associated living abroad as my default. That’s not to say I don’t love Ecuador and don’t love that I get to call it home. In fact, when my nationality is questioned, which happens more often than I would like to admit, I feel a deep sense of sadness and guilt and want to scream to the world that I’m a proud Ecuadorian. I guess this is something a lot of people experience when they find joy in living somewhere other than their home country. The guilt of leaving your country behind and being happy in other places.

I’ve spent my entire adulthood abroad, so I’ve had to learn to find my comfort in the things that are different. Different cultures and languages, different ways of working and socializing. I honestly feel most like myself in a room full of people of all different nationalities and backgrounds. I’ve learned to find my own joy and find a way to make new places feel like a little part of home.

I know I am a walking contradiction in many ways. I love Ecuador, but I only aspire to live abroad. I am closer to my family than most people in their late 20s, but I choose to live away from them. I think there is so much potential in my country, but I contribute to other economies. I know starting over in new places is hard and lonely, yet the thrill of it excites me and motivates me. And I want to have a place I can call my own home, but I want to cross off as many major cities as places around the world I’ve lived in. These contradictions are my invisible but essential.

If there’s something that I’ve learned after living in 5 countries (going on 6 with my upcoming exchange) is that you never know where life will take you. That there is always beauty to discover, wonderful people to meet, and something to learn from every place you live in. And never forget where you come from. As my mom always said “alas para volar, raíces para volver” which means “wings to fly, roots to come back to”.

*As I close out the MBA ‘24s batch of stories, I want to (metaphorically) cheers to the adventures and opportunities this next year will bring for us. I can’t wait to see where life takes us. Thank you for an unforgettable MBA experience.

What is invisible but essential about YOU? or ESADE? or Barcelona?

Something invisible but essential about me is that I have an anxiety disorder.

In February 2010, I had my first panic attack. I remember that day like it was yesterday. Something felt off, and as I walked into the kitchen to tell my parents, my entire body went numb, my hands cramped up, and I couldn’t see anything. The next few hours were a blur.

I woke up a few hours later with an IV in my arm and my parents sitting at the end of my hospital bed. The doctor came in and explained that I had experienced a panic attack, but because I was so dehydrated, I would need some fluids before they could send me home.

For the months leading up to this moment, I had been getting sick to my stomach and often feeling lightheaded and exhausted when I had to stand or be upright for a long period of time. It wasn’t until the panic attack that I realized I had been struggling with anxiety for years.

Anxiety is defined by the Webster dictionary as, “an overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs.” What that definition doesn’t tell you is that often times you don’t know what you’re afraid of or what is triggering your anxiety. It also doesn’t tell you that the symptoms of anxiety differ from person to person often making it hard to diagnose.

In my case, anxiety presented itself in the form of feeling sick to my stomach and extreme fatigue. Common symptoms of many different types of illnesses and in my case, years of not understanding what was wrong with me.

Following my panic attack, things began to click for me. I had an answer to what was happening, and I finally had something that I could focus my attention on understanding.

Having anxiety hasn’t been easy, but it has taught me some important things. The top three things I have learned are:

1. It is okay to not be okay. There have been days that I struggle more, have a hard time going about my day or want to hide. On those days, I take a moment to listen to my body, slow down and try to be more mindful about what I’m feeling.

2. It’s important to look at situations from different perspectives. Things aren’t always how they may seem initially, and if you react too quickly, you may limit yourself from understanding more about what is happening.

3. Finding balance in life is important. Having anxiety has enabled me to explore things and listen to myself in situations that I may not have thought to do so before. I have learned that I love to exercise and have a routine, and those things help me to stay balanced.

At first, I was upset that I had this uncontrollable reaction that seemed to pop up out of nowhere at the worst possible times, but over the years, I have found that my anxiety has actually helped me more than it has held me back.

What is invisible but essential about YOU? or ESADE? or Barcelona?

One of the most extraordinary things that I have learned from the MBA is that every soul within it has a story that deserves to be listened to. I am going to tell you one that will give you a sense of who I am.

I have been always an intrepid soul, seeking new adventures to fill my life backpack. At the age of 26, I decided to quit my job, a very stable and well-paid job, and move to Australia with all, and just my savings. You are never ready to settle 17.180,26km from family and friends, my main pillars in life. I was eager for unique experiences, astonishing landscapes, and riveting nature. I felt ready to live the time of my life.

Nothing further from reality, the setback while landing was difficult to encounter. It was not an easy task to get a job, regardless of how much energy and motivation I carried. All my skills, my experience, my English diploma… suddenly, I was down on earth again. It took me 3 months. I arrived in Sydney with all my savings, and as you may imagine, 3 months in Australia without a job is a task difficult to endure. I decided to join a position that did not require any competence: food-delivery rider.

There I was: electric bike, helmet and an isolated bag. A job that I had never thought of doing, but a job that couldn’t make me happier. I was joyful, merry, lively. I had never felt this way on my way to work. I had the opportunity to penetrate into the heart of the city; while waiting outside of big chains I made friends who were coming across the same life introspection. I was glowing, thriving and excelling when it came to the most important job in my life: seeking happiness.

Why is this story invisible but essential?
I used to hide it during stressful and competitive job interviews. I even felt ambivalent when recruiters used to ask me about my Aussie experience.

Until I joined the MBA: I joined ESADE full of biases, questioning my background, my strengths, my assets… and here I realized how valuable I am, mostly, thanks to experiences and stories like the one conveyed in this post.

Never question yourself. Every experience will fill you with marvellous and special knowledge. Sometimes, it is so invisible that you cannot see how essential it can be.

What is invisible but essential about YOU? or ESADE? or Barcelona?

Figuring out my ‘invisible but essential’ was a long haul. Hope to convey my journey through this small article.

As a kid, I always had an itch for curiosity and ventured into everything I could. I tried Music, Dance, Sports, Literature, etc. only to find myself lost. Time taught me that life is too short to learn and experience everything. The more I got exposed to new territories, the more indecisive I became. So, I resorted to a simple solution that can serve my curiosity and also help me draw the line. The solution was to answer this simple question: What’s the purpose?

I chose Electronics engineering out of curiosity. Tinkering with the transistors and resistors seemed fun, but I couldn’t answer my question of purpose. What am I achieving? Do I love doing this?-No concrete answer.

During this time, I bumped into an Entrepreneurship course during my summer holidays. Every session was exciting and I also launched a modest venture that marked my inaugural earnings. That’s when it became clear to me that business was something that bites my brain every time. So MBA was clear in sight.

However, MBA is not less than a madhouse. Every day I had to choose and prioritize among all the opportunities that it offered. Finding my purpose in every small event simplified my decisions to carve my unique journey.

Sometimes, our roads lead to dead ends. Hence, going with the flow is not always beneficial. We need to learn to draw the line to strike the right balance. My journey of curiosity and finding purpose represents my invisible but essential.

Cheers.

Apoorva

What is invisible but essential about YOU? or ESADE? or Barcelona?

We all experience moments in life that challenge our beliefs, touch our hearts, and reveal the significance or frivolity of our existence. For many, these defining moments occur during youth, when our souls remain pure and fragile.

My childhood was truly remarkable, and I am forever grateful to my parents for that. Still, there were challenging periods when I had to drag myself through difficulties.

For me, one such defining stretch occurred a few months before my fifteenth birthday. The decision to continue my high school education in the city away from my hometown was initially far from pleasant. Living apart from familiar habitat and trusted companions felt like a “sudden hit to the face with a bat” by life itself. I admit, adapting was a struggle. Yet, as resilient as human beings are, I managed to endure and squeeze out the best for me.

I don’t intend to present a grand life lesson here, but I wish to emphasize that sometimes the smallest, least visible changes hold the utmost importance in shaping who we are today. Reflecting on that time, its seeming insignificance belies the tremendous impact it had in defining me.

Dear reader, allow the subtleties to strike the core of your heart and challenge your beliefs. Then assimilate what holds value for you and disregard the rest.

What is invisible but essential about YOU? or ESADE? or Barcelona?

Ever since I was young, I’ve been fascinated by human behavior, trying to understand what drives people to do what they do and be who they are. Despite this, it was not until recently that I got to know what motivates me to become a better version of myself, so I’ll share my story:

As a child, I was reserved but had no trouble building meaningful connections with others. Making new friends and trying out new things has always helped me get a sense of what I liked (and disliked). As I progressed through my school years, I also became aware of some of my strengths and weaknesses. However, the idea of deciding who I wanted to be or what I wanted to do seemed fairly distant.

Unfortunately, life goes by very fast, and as you grow older you have to take decisions that will shape who you become. I have always enjoyed travelling and learning about foreign cultures so when it was time for me to go to university, I was happy to have the opportunity to study abroad in Vancouver, Canada. Throughout my undergraduate years, I met some amazing people from all over the world and learned a lot, but I still didn’t know where I wanted to be when I concluded my studies.

At my family’s suggestion, I moved back to Peru and became involved in the family business. I wasn’t very excited about it at first, but soon I became immersed in the world of business and construction.

Every construction project is like a puzzle; unique and challenging. It brings together people from different disciplines and backgrounds to complete a single objective. Success in a project doesn’t come in a single day but is achieved through the persistent effort of many dedicated professionals. Finally, there is a sense of satisfaction that comes from completing a project: whether it’s a house, a road, or a hospital, new infrastructure always brings new opportunities to society.

My experience in the family business helped me realize what I was capable of and what I wanted. I learned that motivation is important to achieve success, no matter how big the challenge; what motivated me throughout those years in the family business was knowing that I was helping to build a better future for those around me. To this day, I continue to challenge myself to achieve that same objective by pursuing an MBA at Esade.

So, if you ever find yourself in the face of uncertainty, be open to new opportunities and follow your heart. You’d be surprised to see what you can find!

What is invisible but essential about YOU? or ESADE? or Barcelona?

Believe in myself

When I took my first high school entrance exam, I felt so nervous and became sick from the intense pressure. I even puked during the exam. Needless to say, I failed to pass the exam. That was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. I totally lost my confidence and thought of changing my second exam to that of another high school which was easier to pass. I told the idea to my mother. Then, she said, “Don’t do that. If you give up, you will do that for the rest of your life. Believe in yourself.” Her words inspired me with the importance of self-confidence. With my mother’s encouragement, I studied hard until the next entrance exam and earned a high score that enabled me to enrol in my top choice high school. This experience has helped me a lot to believe in myself and continuously work on even in the tough time for my study or job.

20 years after this experience, I encountered a YouTube video on which Mr. Jeff Bezos, made a commencement speech at Princeton University. He concluded his speech by saying, “In the end, we are our choices.” My interpretation was that people tend to become complacent, so it’s precious to try new things with our choices. His words encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone and apply for Esade. It may sound ridiculous to decide to pursue an MBA degree by watching a YouTube video, but I followed my choice by believing in myself.

Life is a Relay

The former CEO of my organization once compared running a company with a relay. As a runner passes a baton to the next teammate to continue the race, in a company we inherit a baton (visions and values) from those who came before us and advance it forward with the hope of passing our baton on to a future generation.

I think life can be compared to a relay as well. In life, the baton symbolizes experiences and values passed down from one generation to another. My grandfather researched local history in Japan at university. His passion for learning was passed down on to my father who became a book editor and was eager to learn about different cultures. I inherited my passion for learning new things and my love of books from them. This was another key factor to make me challenge an MBA. I really look forward to seeing how my daughter will inherit my baton in the future as she is growing day by day by interacting with her classmates coming from different countries. Hopefully, I expect her to join Esade 20 years later. To better pass my baton, I want to continue improving myself by working with this amazing cohort!

What is invisible but essential about YOU? or ESADE? or Barcelona?

I could talk about my family background and life stories, but I’ll dig deeper.

As one of the quietest people in the classroom, it’s hard to know what I am feeling, what am I thinking. When I was growing up, I used to think the world was a complex and empty space that would never be aligned with my emotions. Being so sensitive to energies and people around me would keep me isolated from the world regardless of the outcome, almost as if I was trying to protect myself from something that was not even real. I didn’t really understand the meaning of my behavior and emotions until I became older and decided to work on my consciousness and self-awareness as part of my daily life.

By the time I was in college, I realized how easy it was to get distracted and redirected away from your center. Most of us would do life in autopilot without actually trying to understand the reason behind our own triggers, intentions, and desires. I took my first steps in this journey when I decided to study the topic of Neuroscience through Mindful Living. The choice of becoming self-aware is a never-ending process that will show you a whole different perspective of yourself that you didn’t even imagine it was there. I consider this process as a self-awakening practice that involves sacrifices that eventually will add up to a meaningful outcome.

Based on my own experience, I learned how to use what I thought was ‘wrong’ with my personality as a tool to engage with the world around me. For instance, I invested my time in articulating and understanding the why behind my triggers and specific emotions that didn’t made sense in the moment. You train your mind into knowing how and when to pinpoint certain patterns and behaviors that will only give you more insights on your self-awareness mechanisms. I also introduced a writing practice as well as meditation into my routine that supported me in the journey towards understanding my thoughts and emotions. At the beginning its uncomfortable to embrace parts of you that you were used to ignore for most of your life, however, consistency makes you stronger while life starts to pivot towards a whole new perspective without you even noticing it.

Along the way, you’ll notice how real connections around you start to flourish. You become better at filtering, and yes, you will have to let go of people and situations that no longer align with your intentions. It will hurt, but eventually it will make sense. Suddenly you have more space to receive what your destiny has in store for you.

I encourage everyone to choose this path and work towards becoming a more conscious human being. Self-awareness will not only impact your life but also the world around you.

Thank you for reading,

Much Love,

PL

What is invisible but essential about YOU? or ESADE? or Barcelona?

My name is Vineet Saurabh, but my second name is not mine at all!

A few days after my birth, my parents replaced my original surname with a random one. It had nothing to do with me or even them. In India, the second name defines the caste. During the 80s, discrimination and violence against caste were prevalent in the region of India; I was born and grew up. You could be educated and successful, but you can’t escape the vortex of caste. Except by changing your name.

During graduation, I experienced a series of dichotomies, none related to anything I did, but all related to who I was. I couldn’t speak fluent or accented English then, which made my life hell in a country where less than 10% of people speak English. Once, I was asked to take ‘the podium’, a makeshift 2-feet platform created to shame freshmen, and asked by seniors to make a 10-minute English speech. I doubt I would have elicited so many laughs had I been India’s top stand-up comedian. Ironically, in a country of coloured people, I was bullied for being dark-skinned.

During my first trip to Africa in 2013, I saw Africa’s corruption and learned about its people. I found myself surrounded by people who were, like me, desperate to be somebody. They were underdogs. I even invented a visa type in Africa – the $100 ‘instant’ bribe visa – at Malawi border control. Even though the corruption was rampant, at least it wasn’t discriminatory. I had borrowed money to make that first trip abroad, but after I returned, what had initially seemed like an expenditure now appeared like an investment.

For the next 3 years, I travelled to Europe many times for work, but to me, Africa was the underdog, and that is what I wanted to serve. In 2018, I resigned from Addnode, co-founded Rolaface Software, and moved to Zambia. For the next 2 years, I was the underdog coach. I served small businesses that often couldn’t afford us, offering generous payment terms at Rolaface because the money wasn’t my reward; the opportunity was. I implemented banking software in Africa and enabled digital transformation in Latin America. I travelled every other week and saw life and success happen in unlikely locations. In the Siwa Oasis in Africa, I saw salt-water fishing in the middle of the desert, and in Puerto Nariño, 2 hours from civilization in the Amazon, I saw people live even today like Neanderthals. I also saw how African countries grew faster than South American nations, though the former had been independent for only 50 years and the latter for over 200. Growth and progress, I saw, is a function of effort, not just the environment.

I brought the same message of hope back to the dusty lanes of Bihar I originated in. I have conducted over 20 workshops on technology careers, education, and career guidance. I continue to root for the underdog; every time I visit, the youth there don’t refer to me by name. They call me ‘Computer sir’.

In that sense, I may have lost a name because of my caste but gained an identity because of my work.

What is invisible but essential about YOU? or ESADE? or Barcelona?

Since I was younger I’ve always been very expressive, but instead of seeing it as a strength, I used to want to hide it. When I wanted to talk, no matter how relevant the topic was, I used to make everyone laugh. So at those moments I felt dumb and stopped feeling confident about speaking out loud. This, unfortunately, lasted till I was at university.

However, when I started to work everything changed. I realized how important it was to ‘speak up’, to share your ideas, to expand some debates and also to make questions. I needed to push myself to overcome my fear, which was challenging, but it is so worth it. Now, I try to do it not only for myself but also for those who are as scared as I once was. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to ‘not be afraid of your own light’, it will surprise you.

I understand the importance that “fitting in” and not attracting too much attention can have or seem to have, but sacrificing what we like or who we are to achieve it is really not worth it. I’ve learned a lot about myself and there have been moments in this journey that truly marked me: when I decided to bet on my dreams and my future and apply for an MBA at ESADE and when during the pandemic, in my eagerness to do something about the increase of domestic violence in Peru, I created “Hazlo por Ti” (Do it for Yourself). A program of free psychological and psychiatric help from specialists at a national level. In the beginning, I thought that no one would want to join the idea, but I had to believe in myself and with a lot of drive I managed to get it off the ground and it is something I will always be proud of.

By respecting and accepting ourselves we are also strengthening our empathy towards others. But to achieve this we have to take the time to get to know ourselves and not put external opinions above what we want to be or accomplish. I am still on this learning path, but every day I reassure myself that by being authentic I can build bridges and unlock benefits for myself and others. I invite you to give it a try.